A Word to the Reader
I want to remind you though you may already know, how that God wants us to have a healthy and enjoyable marriage relationship. This is done by using scriptures from the Old as well as the New Testament, showing that the sexual practices enjoyed by today’s married couples were enjoyed back in the past as well. For “that which has been is that which will be, And that which has been done is that which will be done. So there is nothing new under the sun. Is there anything of which one might say, "See this, it is new"? Already it has existed for ages which were before us.” (Ecclesiastes 1:9-10)
And, let’s remember that these acts of sexual intimacy are only temporal while in our present bodies. For that day will come when we’re finally in our new bodies, being in the presents of God forever. (2 Corinthians 5:1-11) So, even if we as fellow believers don’t see eye to eye on everything that’s written here, we should agree not to divide over the things that pertain to this life. For we should instead make sure to encourage each other in the things that pertain to eternal life. Amen
We read in God’s word that He created marital intimacy and wants us not only to express our love to one another through it, but to richly enjoy it as well. (Proverbs 5:18-19, Song of Songs 4:16, 1 Timothy 6:17) For its this act between a man and a woman which can bring about the most intense physical pleasure. And it’s for a good reason as well. For it’s one of those pleasures of life that brings forth new life into this world, and yes, I do mean babies. So, this being the case, doesn't it make sense that God would make it intensely pleasurable? And let’s remember that God’s word says: “Marriage is honorable among all, and the bed undefiled” which means marriage is good for everyone and that sexual intimacy is not to be viewed as dirty, defiling or unholy. (Hebrews 13:4) And let’s remember that we ourselves are here because our parents had a sexual encounter as well. And let’s thank God they did.
Now, we must keep in mind that everybody is not at the same level of faith. And this is true when it comes to sexual intimacy as well. For some whose faith is weak may limit themselves to some simple basics, while others faith may allow them to have more freedom. Therefore, we need to be careful not to put a stumbling block nor a guilt trip on a fellow Christian. For those who limit themselves to the simple basics, should not condemn those who do otherwise. And in the same way, those who have more freedom should not look down on those who don’t. For we need to take heed to what God’s word says and leave all judgment up to God. For its before Him that we stand or fall; and according to his word, he will make us stand. (Romans 14) So, wherever your faith may allow you to go, give glory and thanks to God for it. Amen.
Now, we still need to use caution when it comes to physical intimacy. For it can be so easy to take things out of perspective and focus only on ourselves. For we must not overlook the fact that sexual intimacy is to be an act of giving as well as receiving. For we are to focus on bringing pleasure to our spouse who in turn should want to bring pleasure to us. It can truly be a beautiful act when couples have this attitude of giving to one another. And again, let's not forget that the sexual act between a man and his wife was designed by God to bring children into this world.
So, we must be careful not to be so caught up and be excessive in sexual intimacy. For it can be so easy to take sex out of its intended environment and end up being unfruitful. Paul the apostle said: “but this I say, brethren, the time is short: it remaineth, that both they that have wives be as though they had none; And they that weep, as though they wept not; and they that rejoice, as though they rejoiced not; and they that buy, as though they possessed not; And they that use this world, as not abusing it: for the fashion of this world passeth away. (1 Corinthians 7:29-31)
So, in view of what was mention above, we need to be practicing self-control in the things pertaining to this life as well. For if we don’t, it will only lead to feelings of incompleteness, emptiness, and even frustration. We can see this to be true in the book of Ecclesiastes where its author said at one point: “And whatsoever mine eyes desired I kept not from them, I withheld not my heart from any joy; for my heart rejoiced in all my labour: and this was my portion of all my labour. Then I looked on all the works that my hands had wrought, and on the labour that I had laboured to do: and, behold, all was vanity and vexation of spirit, and there was no profit under the sun. (Ecclesiastes 2:10-11). Therefore, let us take heed to God’s word and not to over indulge ourselves. (see Ecclesiastes 2:1-11 for a complete picture on this)
We need the Holy Spirit daily to help us put all these things into their proper perspective. His word tells us to walk after the Spirit in order to put off the deeds of the flesh. For if you live for pleasure you will die, but if you live for God, he will give you all things to enjoy in their proper time and place. (1 Timothy 5:6) Therefore, let’s always read and meditate on his word and be doers of it, keeping our mind stayed on him. Amen. (Isaiah 26:3-4, Colossians 3:1-3)
Do not deprive one another except with consent for a time, that you may give yourselves to fasting and prayer; and come together again so that Satan does not tempt you because of your lack of self-control. (1 Corinthians 7:5)
Now, because of our fallen state, we may struggle with some sexual infirmity that can hamper a normal sexual act. But even here God provides ways for us to still richly enjoy the sexual act as well. An example of this would be oral sex. For there are those who do rely on it to help get things going on the marriage bed. And for even some, this may be their only option for sex. Of course, these same couples may have to get creative in their quest to have children. However, with a little help and cooperation from each other, and utilizing what God has given them, they can work all things out.
Below are a few links to other Christian websites on the topic of sex in God's word. Now let me be clear on this. Even though I do agree that there is truth on each of these sites, I may not agree with everything that's being presented on them. So, please ask God to lead you by His Holy Spirit in testing all things according to His word. This in hope for you to learn something new that would be a blessing in your marriage. Amen.
Now, there may be those couples who enjoy a normal sex life but are struggling with conceiving a child. But that didn't stop Abraham and Sarah as well as Zachariah and Elizabeth from engaging in sex even in their old age. (Genesis 21:1-2, Luke 1:24) For we know from the Bible that both these couples were finally blessed with a child. So, whether you’re a young newlywed or well advanced in years, don't stop enjoying sex with your spouse, even in your infirmities. For God is the God of miracles who can make a way for you, no matter what difficulties you may be facing. Amen.
And said, For this cause shall a man leave father and mother, and shall cleave to his wife: and they twain shall be one flesh? (Matthew 19:5)
Now we turn our attention on, “what does it mean to became, One Flesh.” This statement, “one flesh” is not to be viewed as a metaphor, but as a fact. For studies have shown that a few hours after a woman receives her husband semen, the components of his semen are detected in her blood stream. And what is also fascinating about these studies is that they even found male DNA present within women as well. This makes that statement above literally true. Below are those studies mentioned above.
I would like to point out some other health factors involved in sexual intimacy for both the man and woman. For the woman, science has shown that the man's semen contains components for a woman to have not only a safe pregnancy, but to help enhance her mood as well. So, because of these benefits, I included some articles on these studies below.
And for you men, studies have also shown that a weekly sexual release can help maintain your prostate and reduce the risk of cancer (click here to see studies on this subject). So, that's why it's so important for wives to engage their husbands in a sexual act even throughout their pregnancy. For it would be a benefit both for the man and the woman (and the child in her womb if she is pregnant or plans to get pregnant).
Below are a few passages from the Bible's Song of Songs chapters. Contained within the pages of this book are descriptions of our wonderful human body as well as sexual intimacy through the use of metaphors. So, read through its pages asking God to bring out its rich meanings. And let's remember that God's word says we are "fearfully and wonderfully made," and it is “God, who giveth us richly all things to enjoy." So please do enjoy. (Psalm 139:14) (Timothy 6:17)
References to the beauty of the human body:
References to Sexual intimacy in song of songs:
So, what about birth control. Well, I’m going to be quite frank with you on this. I believe that the use of birth control is a sin against God. This would include the use of birth control pills, condoms, vasectomy, tubal ligation or pulling out during a normal intercourse so as to spill one’s semen on the ground. These acts are a willful withholding of children which is in direct defiance to God’s command for married couples. For the Bible says: “And God blessed them, and God said unto them, Be fruitful, and multiply, and replenish the earth, and subdue it: and have dominion over the fish of the sea, and over the fowl of the air, and over every living thing that moveth upon the earth." (Genesis 1:28)
So, are there any punishment described in the Bible for married couple who are using birth control? Well, that there is. For we can see a man named Onan who didn’t want his wife to conceive a child. For God word says: “And Onan knew that the seed should not be his; and it came to pass, when he went in unto his brother's wife, that he spilled it on the ground, lest that he should give seed to his brother. And the thing which he did displeased the LORD: wherefore he slew him also.” (Genesis 38:9-10) Now, Onan had the choice not to marry her if he did not want her as a wife (even though it would be to his disgrace). But because he did marry her, he then had the duty to bring forth children by her. However, he refused and God slew him for his wrongful actions. However, no harm came to his wife because we know from scriptures that she wanted a child. (Genesis 38:13-14)
Now, I also know a Christian couple that are suffering because of the use of birth control. For even though the husband new birth control was wrong, he failed to not stop his wife from having her tubes tied (tubal ligation). She unfortunately came down with HPV virus a few years later and had to have surgery. Now the couple can’t have vaginal intercourse. However, God still provides for us his children by giving other options such as oral intimacy (which can be performed on one another) to still enjoy sexual pleasure.
“For this reason a man shall leave his father and mother and be joined to his wife, and the two shall become one flesh; so then they are no longer two, but one flesh. Therefore what God has joined together, let not man separate.” (Mark 10:7-9)
If we would look closely at the passage above, we would clearly see that it says that a man shall cleave to his wife, not to another man. God at the very beginning instituted the marriage relationship as it should be. We can see this to be true in Geneses where it says concerning the man and woman: “And God blessed them, and God said unto them, Be fruitful, and multiply, and replenish the earth, and subdue it: and have dominion over the fish of the sea, and over the fowl of the air, and over every living thing that moveth upon the earth.” (Genesis 1:28) This is a true God ordained marriage. For only through the male and female union can a couple experience the most intense sexual pleasure and bring forth new life as well. And yes, I mean babies.
Also, we can see a uniqueness of the male and female relationship in that God created woman from the man. So, from the very beginning, the woman and the man were designed specifically for each other. Therefore, it’s only through this type of relationship can we have a true oneness and sexual intimacy. Also, we have the words of Jesus Himself when He spoke to the Pharisees telling them that “from the beginning of the creation, God 'made them male and female.' 'For this reason a man shall leave his father and mother and be joined to his wife, 'and the two shall become one flesh'; so then they are no longer two, but one flesh.” .(Mark 10:6-8) So again, we have Jesus affirming that only through man and woman union, can we have a true one flesh relationship For a more detailed look at what's being said here, (please click this link and open "True Marriage")
Now there is something else that we must be aware of, and that would be the fact that God hates divorce. For in Matthews Gospel, we read that our Lord and Savior Jesus Christ was confronted by the religious rulers concerning divorce and remarriage. For “The Pharisees also came unto him, tempting him, and saying unto him, Is it lawful for a man to put away his wife for every cause? And he answered and said unto them, Have ye not read, that he which made them at the beginning made them male and female, And said, For this cause shall a man leave father and mother, and shall cleave to his wife: and the two shall be one flesh? Therefore they are no longer two, but one flesh. What therefore God hath joined together, let not man separate.” (Mat 19:3-6) But being not content with that answer, “They say unto him, Why did Moses then command to give a writing of divorcement, and to put her away?” (Mat 19:7)
The Lord Jesus then makes a statement that sets things strait saying: “Moses because of the hardness of your hearts allowed you to put away your wives: but from the beginning it was not so. And I say unto you, whosoever shall put away his wife, except it be for fornication, and shall marry another, committeth adultery: and whoso marrieth her which is put away doth commit adultery. (Mat 19:8-9) It couldn’t be any clearer than this! The sinning husband, the remarrying wife, as well as the one who marries her are all guilty of adultery if they fail to take heed to the words of Jesus here.
So, Jesus Christ made it very clear on what the standard for marriage should be. And that is a man and woman would be together for life. But because of their hard hearts, Moses allowed them to put away their wives. For Paul said: “And even as they did not like to retain God in their knowledge, God gave them over to a reprobate mind, to do those things which are not convenient” which would include the act of divorce. (Romans 1:28-31) But again, Jesus came to set things back to their proper standard by saying: “Therefore what God has joined together, let not man separate.” (Mark 10:9) For a more detailed look on this subject, please click this link for the article “God Hates Divorce.”
The Puritan's View of Sex in Marriage
Now the Spirit speaketh expressly, that in the latter times some shall depart from the faith, giving heed to seducing spirits, and doctrines of devils; Speaking lies in hypocrisy; having their conscience seared with a hot iron; Forbidding to marry, [and commanding] to abstain from meats, which God hath created to be received with thanksgiving of them which believe and know the truth. (1 Timothy 4:1-3)
By Nathan W. Bingham • Feb 14, 2014:
There are many caricatures and misinformation when it comes to how Christians through the ages have viewed sex in marriage. In Dr. Joel R. Beekeʼs Living for Godʼs Glory: An Introduction to Calvinism, he dedicates a chapter to marriage, in which he discusses the Puritan’s view. Marital love must be sexual, so that both marital partners can give themselves fully to each other with joy and exuberance in a healthy relationship marked by fidelity.
Reformers such as Martin Luther, Ulrich Zwingli, and John Calvin established this aspect of marriage by abandoning the medieval Roman Catholic attitudes that marriage was inferior to celibacy, that all sexual contact between marital partners was a necessary evil to propagate the human race, and that a procreative act that involved passion was inherently sinful. This negative view was rooted in the ancient church and based on the writings of such notables as Tertullian, Ambrose, and Jerome, all of whom believed that, even within marriage, intercourse necessarily involved sin. This attitude toward marital intimacy, which dominated the church for more than ten centuries, inevitably led to the glorification of virginity and celibacy.
By the fifth century, clerics were prohibited from marrying. Two classes of Christians emerged: the “religious” (i.e., the spiritual clergy), which included monks and nuns who vowed to abstain from all sexual activity, and the “profane” (i.e., the secular laity), who, being unable to rise to the noble heights of virginity or celibacy, were conceded the right to marry. Puritan preachers taught that the Roman Catholic view was unbiblical, even satanic. They cited Paul, who said that the prohibition of marriage is a doctrine of devils (1 Timothy. 4:1–3).
Even the Puritan definitions of marriage implied the conjugal act. For example, Perkins defines marriage as “the lawful conjunction of the two married persons; that is, of one man and one woman into one flesh.” In contrast with Desiderius Erasmus, who taught that ideal marriage abstained from sexual intercourse, Cotton said in a wedding sermon that those who call for marital abstinence follow the dictates of a blind mind and not those of the Holy Spirit, who says that it is not good that man should be alone.
The Puritans viewed sex within marriage as a gift of God and as an essential, enjoyable part of marriage. Gouge says that husbands and wives should cohabit “with good will and delight, willingly, readily, and cheerfully.” “They do err,” adds Perkins, “who hold that the secret coming together of man and wife cannot be without sin unless it be done for the procreation of children.” Perkins goes on to say that marital sex is a “due debt” or “due benevolence” (1 Corinthians. 7:3) that a couple owes to one another. That must be shown, he says, “with a singular and entire affection one towards another” in three ways: “First, by the right and lawful use of their bodies or of the marriage bed.” Such physical intimacy by “holy usage” should be “a holy and undefiled action (Hebrews 13:4) sanctified by the word and prayer" (1 Timothy. 4:3–4).
The fruits of God-honoring, enjoyable sex in marriage are the blessing of children, “the preservation of the body in cleanness,” and the reflection of marriage as a type of the Christ-church relationship. Second, married couples must “cherish one another” intimately (Ephesians. 5:29) rather than having sex in an impersonal way as an adulterer with a prostitute. Third, a couple should be intimate “by an holy kind of rejoicing and solacing themselves each with the other in a mutual declaration of the signs and tokens of love and kindness (Proverbs. 5:18–19; Songs 1:1; Genesis. 26:8; Isa. 62:7).
In this context, Perkins particularly mentions kissing. Other Puritans stressed the romantic side of marriage as they compared the love of a husband to Godʼs love for His own. Thomas Hooker writes, “The man whose heart is endeared to the woman he loves, he dreams of her in the night, hath her in his eye and apprehension when he awakes, museth on her as he sits at table, walks with her when he travels and parlies with her in each place where he comes.” He adds: “She lies in his Bosom, and his heart trusts in her, which forceth all to confess, that the stream of his affection, like a mighty current, runs with full tide and strength.”
The emphasis on romance within marriage (rather than in extramarital relations, as was common in the Middle Ages) has often been attributed to the Puritans. Herbert W. Richardson writes that “the rise of romantic marriage and its validation by the Puritans represents a major innovation within the Christian tradition.” And C. S. Lewis says, “The conversion of courtly love into romantic monogamous love was largely the work of... Puritan poets. “The Puritans took the matrimonial duty of sex so seriously that failure to extend “due benevolence” by either partner could be grounds for church discipline. There is at least one case on record in which a husband was excommunicated for “neglecting his wife” by not having intercourse with her for a long period of time.
Moses because of the hardness of your hearts allowed you to put away your wives: but from the beginning it was not so. And I say unto you, whosoever shall put away his wife, except it be for fornication, and shall marry another, committeth adultery: and whoso marrieth her which is put away doth commit adultery. (Mat 19:8-9)
Open link below for a detailed reminder of why God hates divorce.
To the Reader
It is my intent fellow brothers and sisters in Christ, to remind you of how important it is to raise children to be well taught Christians. For this we parents must do who are bringing these children into this would. For they are going to be the next generation of people, thus they must be well educated not only in things pertaining to eternal life, but in things pertaining to this life as well. And this we must do, being led by the Spirit of God in us. Amen.
According to God’s word, we should be teaching our children his truth and educating them to be fruitful and productive individuals. Young boys at a very early age should be nurtured and guided for a future career that will help them be able to support a family as well as be beneficial to their society. Likewise, young girls should be taught what it takes to be a good wife and how to raise a family. But most of all, we should be teaching them about our Awesome God and Creator, showing them from birth what Christianity is all about. This can even start when they're still in the womb, singing and reading the bible out loud to them, covering them in God's prayers too.
However, what are we really doing? Well let's see, there’s mindless video games and action movies that puts nonsense and violence into our children's heads. And then we wonder why our youth are numb to violence and are killing each other in schools. Also, there are those nonsense cartoons kid shows, Disney movies, foolish games that are kids our being entertained with. Parents as well as our society is teaching and training children to be a bunch of goofballs instead of nurturing them to be productive citizens. Thus, we're raising a bunch of goofballs so that they can pass on to the next generation they're nonsense as well. For we can see our world starting to reflect what we're making our children into? Oh yes, and let’s not forget about the Smart Phone addiction that’s captivating not only adults, but our youth as well, thus plunging them further into nonsense.
But what does God’s word say to all you parents? "And these words, which I command thee this day, shall be in thine heart: And thou shalt teach them diligently unto thy children, and shalt talk of them when thou sittest in thine house, and when thou walkest by the way, and when thou liest down, and when thou risest up. And thou shalt bind them for a sign upon thine hand, and they shall be as frontlets between thine eyes. And thou shalt write them upon the posts of thy house, and on thy gates. (Deuteronomy 6:6-9)
Consider the child Wolfgang Amadeus Mozart (whom we know as Mozart): who even at the age of four, not only already new how to play different instruments, such as the piano and the violin, but also composed his first piano concerto. Leopold Mozart, who was his father and teacher, regarded the blots of ink put down on paper by the unskilled hand of a child with disbelief, realizing that all notes were correctly arranged following contemporary musical rules. From this time on he also taught his son the art of composing: Wolfgang played the melodies on the piano and his father put the notes down on paper. Wolfgang also himself enjoyed singing, a passion that would be his companion for the rest of his life.
So, I don't think this child was feed a bunch of nonsense like most kids get today, but was trained in the “way he should go” as said above. And we can see this to be true with Johann Sebastian Bach and George Frederic Handel as well. All these men were not only musicians at a young age, but were involved with the church of their day.
Dare to Discipline
Now let’s not forget discipline (spanking your children). It seems our society today thinks it knows better than God on how to correct our children. For His word tells us not to spare the rod of correction, for in applying it you’re actually showing more love than you would if you withheld it. But unfortunately, you can get into big trouble if you take a belt to your child these days. Again, this is all about our corrupt governmental system that thinks they know better than God. But the truth is, we were all born sinners. That is why God's word says that: “Foolishness is bound in the heart of a child; but the rod of correction shall drive it far from him.” So that being said, let's stop encouraging are children in the ways of foolishness and instead make them sound Godly people. (Proverbs 22:15)
Let's consider some more scriptures on the this:
Below is a video concerning spanking children:
Below is a clipping from an article and its links of a woman getting in trouble for spanking her children. Sad but true:
According to Fox News Latino – In Corpus Christi Texas, A mom was sentenced to probation and has lost custody of her children for spanking her daughter. The article said: Rosalina Gonzales of Corpus Christi pleaded guilty on Wednesday to injury to a child for swatting the 2-year-old on her buttocks. According to prosecutors, Gonzales in December hit the girl with an open hand, leaving red marks. Police arrested Gonzales after the childʼs grandmother reported the injuries and took the child to a hospital. Gonzales will serve five yearsʼ probation, take parenting classes and follow guidelines laid out by Child Protective Services. KZTV10.com reports that the ruling judge in the case make it clear that spanking is a crime. “You donʼt spank children today.” Judge Jose Longoria is quoted as having said. “In the old days, maybe we got spanked, but there was different quarrel. You donʼt spank children.” Published June 21, 2011 / Fox News Latino
Now, there is one last thing I want to touch on, and that is sex educating our children. I believe we as parents have failed our children in this area by giving them the impression that sex is evil and nasty and must be hide from them. But, didn’t God ordained it in the first place, telling us to be fruitful and multiply? So, why do we find it so difficult to educate them in this very important part of life? And the truth is, they’re going to find out about it one way or another. So, it's best that you teach them the do’s and don’ts of sex while they're still young, and especially before they learn the hard way on their own.
In the past and I'm sure in the present, children who have grown up on farms were able to witness some farm animals in their act of mating. This would naturally allow them to ask and learn that this is how creatures, including their mommy and daddy, make babies. So, it would be learning sex education through nature itself. Unfortunately, children these days don't have this convenient way of learning the facts of life. Therefore, it's you the parent that needs to step up and teach them God's truths on this before they learn it outside the home environment. And please don't rely on our corrupt school system to teach your children about sex. For we need to stand up against those in our government who thinks they know better than God. For to fail teaching your children in this area of life could only bring hardship, not only on you the parent, but on them as well.
Now, if your child does happen to walk in and see you in the act of sex, the worst you can do is to panic in front of them. For by doing so, you would only make sex look dirty to them. Just consider it sex education up front and personal. So, should we as parents have an "open door policy" when it comes to what takes place in our bedroom? Well, God's word does say: "And ye shall teach them your children, speaking of them when thou sittest in thine house, and when thou walkest by the way, when thou liest down, and when thou risest up." (Deuteronomy 11:19) Therefore, you must decide what is right and teach them while they are still young children. Amen. "Train up a child in the way he should go: and when he is old, he will not depart from it." (Proverbs 22:6)
Are you one of those who is deceived thinking that sending your child to soccer camp is going to make them a better person? And if so, in what way may I ask? Don't you realize that all sports are built on the pride (that which brought down Satan), so by allowing you son or daughter to get involved is contrary to God’s word. So again, we should be: “Train up a child in the way he should go” as mention above, and not be building up their ego and pride with things that God hates. For God’s word says that the older women should: “admonish the young women to love their husbands, to love their children, to be discreet, chaste, homemakers, good, obedient to their own husbands, that the word of God may not be blasphemed. Likewise, exhort the young men to be sober-minded, in all things showing yourself to be a pattern of good works; in doctrine showing integrity, reverence, incorruptibility, sound speech that cannot be condemned, that one who is an opponent may be ashamed, having nothing evil to say of you.” So that’s what we should be teaching our children fellow Christians. (Titus 2:1-8)
(For a more detailed look on this topic, open the link: Idolatry of Sports.)
And let’s beware and not forget how many of our youth have died in football alone. Here below are a few clippings from some articles.
There are those who think they know better than God. For they believe in a system that's built upon the teachings of man, and not of God. And look at how children are acting today. For we as parents and adults have failed them. We allow them to do what they want instead of teaching them the ways of God. Thus we see a rise in children and teen violence, drug use, sexual promiscuities, and a complete lack of fruitfulness in their lives. God help us to do what is right even in the face of persecutions. Let's dare to stand against the false teachings of man, and stand on the word of God. Amen
Below are some scripture references:
And these words, which I command thee this day, shall be in thine heart: And thou shalt teach them diligently unto thy children, and shalt talk of them when thou sittest in thine house, and when thou walkest by the way, and when thou liest down, and when thou risest up. And thou shalt bind them for a sign upon thine hand, and they shall be as frontlets between thine eyes. And thou shalt write them upon the posts of thy house, and on thy gates. (Deuteronomy 6:6-9)
To the Reader
It is my intent to remind you my fellow brothers and sisters in Christ, of the role that God has given to every man, woman and child. For we live in a world that has blurred the line of distinction between not only the sexes, but of that which pertains to a parent and a child. So please read and consider what God’s word has to say in all this, and then let’s return each to our proper place in life. Amen.
From the creation account above, I do believe that there was a natural unity and harmony between the man and the woman, each knowing their place in life instinctively. And there in the garden, we can see from God's word that man was a vegetarian and ate from the fruit trees and vegetables as well. We can also see that there was no fear of man in the animals. But most of all, it was that beautiful relationship that man had with God, being not yet tainted by sin.
Now for starters, I would like to be clear on one thing and that would be this; that both the man and the woman are created in God’s image. For God's word says “So God created man in his own image, in the image of God created he him; male and female created he them.” (Genesis 1:27) So, this shows that the man and the woman are equal in nature. We are all one in Christ Jesus, for “there is neither Jew nor Greek, there is neither bond nor free, there is neither male nor female: for ye are all one in Christ Jesus.” (Galatians 3:28). The only difference between the sexes is our God given earthly roles that He bestowed upon us. We can see this in nature itself by observing that the males are generally larger and stronger than the females. This would naturally place the males in a place of dominance and rule over the female, but not in any way inferring that one is better than the other.
Unto the woman he said, I will greatly multiply thy sorrow and thy conception; in sorrow thou shalt bring forth children; and thy desire shall be to thy husband, and he shall rule over thee. (Genesis 3:16)
Now, because of the fall of mankind and sin entering into the world, things started to change for the worse on the earth. Therefore, God felt it necessary to make it very clear that the man is still to have the rule over the woman and she is to be in subjection unto him. We can see this to be true from the passage above. So, let us not believe that before the fall there was no male dominance over the female. For we can mistakenly come to this conclusion by the scripture quoted above. However, Godʼs Word clearly states otherwise as we will see. For we can read in Paul's first letter to Timothy that it says that the woman is not to “usurp authority over the man”because “Adam was first formed, then Eve.” (1Timothy 2:13-15) Also, we have Paulʼs first letter to the Corinthians stating that man was not created for the woman, but the woman for the man. This is showing from the very beginning (before the fall) that God had created the man to be head over the woman. (1Corinthians 11:9)
Now, according to the passage quoted above in Genesis 3:16, we read that the woman's desire is going to be for her husband. This is the same wording as it is in chapter 4 of Genesis where we read: "And the LORD said unto Cain, Why art thou wroth? and why is thy countenance fallen? If thou doest well, shalt thou not be accepted? and if thou doest not well, sin lieth at the door. And unto thee shall be his desire, and thou shalt rule over him. (Genesis 4:6-7) So we see in these two passages that this word "desire" is speaks of having ones will and way over someone else and not a sexual desire.
This is true because God told Adam and Eve to be "fruitful and multiply" before the fall which would come to reason that they already had sexual desires for one another. So, this desire here pronounced upon the woman would be part of the curse, which would be an unnatural desire to have dominion over her husbands. However, God says to the woman (and those women of today) "he shall rule over you.” (Genesis 3:16)
We must be diligent to stand on the truth of God’s Word and not try to water it down with our own theology or feelings. It seems there’s this urge to try to twist or bend God's Word in such a way that it would be appealing to all. (2 Peter 3:15-16) And isn’t it true that we do this because we are so afraid of offending someone? And it's no wonder why we have such disorder in the church today as well as in our homes? It’s time we stand up for the truth of God’s Word and take our rightful places in life (both the man and the woman). So, I hope that this is what we’ll do, because to do otherwise would only be thwarting a divine commandment of God.
And this have ye done again, covering the altar of the LORD with tears, with weeping, and with crying out, insomuch that he regardeth not the offering any more, or receiveth it with god will at your hand. Yet ye say, Wherefore? Because the LORD hath been witness between thee and the wife of thy youth, against whom thou hast dealt treacherously: yet is she thy companion, and the wife of thy covenant. And did not he make one? Yet had he the residue of the spirit. And wherefore one? That he might seek a godly seed. Therefore take heed to your spirit, and let none deal treacherously against the wife of his youth. (Malachi 2:13-15)
It is obvious from this scripture above that God hates divorce. We can see this to be true as well in Matthew’s gospel which reads: “But I say to you that whoever divorces his wife for any reason except sexual immorality causes her to commit adultery; and whoever marries a woman who is divorced commits adultery.” So, for a man to put away his wife, would not only show a lack of honor for her, but would put her in danger of committing adultery as well. Peter said: “Husbands, likewise, dwell with them with understanding, giving honor to the wife, as to the weaker vessel, and as being heirs together of the grace of life, that your prayers may not be hindered.” (1 Peter 3:7) Also, we are to, “love your wives, just as Christ also loved the church and gave Himself for her, ... So husbands ought to love their own wives as their own bodies; he who loves his wife loves himself. For no one ever hated his own flesh, but nourishes and cherishes it, just as the Lord does the church.” (Ephesians 5:25, 28-29) So, just because the man has a God given authority over his wife does not mean that she is to be looked down upon or to be treated as inferior.
Now in Proverbs 31:10-31, it says that a virtuous woman is prized far above rubies and is a blessing to her husband. And let’s remember that, “Whoso findeth a wife findeth a good thing, and obtaineth favour of the LORD.” (Proverbs 18:22) So, why does one divorce his wife and marry another, treating her like an object that can be traded in for another. For Jesus condemned that act by saying:(Matthew 5:32) So, a woman is a person that is precious and just as important in the eyes of God as any man.
But if any provide not for his own, and especially for those of his own house, he hath denied the faith, and is worse than an infidel. (1 Timothy 5:8)
According to the passage above, a man is to be the provider for his household. He’s to do all he can to provide food on the table for his family and clothing on their backs. In fact, according to what’s quoted above, for him to do otherwise, would only cause him to be worse than an unbeliever. And let’s also remember that Godʼs word condemns laziness and anyone who is a slacker. For, “He also that is slothful in his work is brother to him that is a great waster.” (Proverbs 18:9)
Now, I donʼt believe that God is condemning those men who are struggling to make ends meet. For sometimes things happen that can put people into predicaments that are out of their control. But in all things, God will meet their needs and see them through if they trust Him and put their hope in Him. So, let all of us who are men do our best to love our wives according to scripture and help train our children in the way they should go. This would include teaching them the truth of Godʼs word and not to be harsh with them or provoke them to anger. The God’s word says: “And, ye fathers, provoke not your children to wrath: but bring them up in the nurture and admonition of the Lord.” (Ephesians 6:4)
So, you “husbands, love your wives, even as Christ also loved the church, and gave himself for it; That he might sanctify and cleanse it with the washing of water by the word, That he might present it to himself a glorious church, not having spot, or wrinkle, or any such thing; but that it should be holy and without blemish. So ought men to love their wives as their own bodies. He that loveth his wife loveth himself. For no man ever yet hated his own flesh; but nourisheth and cherisheth it, even as the Lord the church: For we are members of his body, of his flesh, and of his bones. For this cause shall a man leave his father and mother, and shall be joined unto his wife, and they two shall be one flesh. This is a great mystery: but I speak concerning Christ and the church. Nevertheless let every one of you in particular so love his wife even as himself; and the wife see that she reverence her husband. (Ephesians 5:25-33)
And let those who have little one to “train up a child in the way he should go: and when he is old, he will not depart from it. (Proverbs 22:6) Amen.
The aged women likewise, that they be in behaviour as becometh holiness, not false accusers, not given to much wine, teachers of good things; That they may teach the young women to be sober, to love their husbands, to love their children, To be discreet, chaste, keepers at home, good, obedient to their own husbands, that the word of God be not blasphemed. (Titus 2:3-5)
According the scripture above, women should be passing on to the next generation of women the important role of being keepers of the home. However, we see the opposite happening. For young women are being shipped off to pursue a degree in some collage so that they can have a career outside the home which is not consistent with Godʼs word. Also, mothers are sending off their young children to some daycare so that they can work a job or pursue some career as well. Should they be at home teaching and instilling Godly values to their own children instead of letting someone else teach them who knows what? Even the military as well as the police force has opened its doors to woman which goes against nature. For woman are to bring life into the world, not to take it out.
Unfortunately, this is all part of the fall of mankind. For women feel they need to venture in areas outside their home in order to be recognized as being important or even equal to men. But the truth of it is, a woman's role in the home is just as vital, if not even more important than any job outside of it. For she has the God given role to "train a child in the way they should go" which molds and shapes that child's future. What job can be more important than that?
Now, I don't believe that a woman must only stay within the confines of their home. For there are community programs where both they and their children can get involved in. Also, there are family own businesses which they could help to run. This also would be a great way for their children to get involved, teaching them from a very early age how to be fruitful and productive in life. But again, these businesses should not get in the way of her most important calling which would be tending to her immediate family. For a mother and wife's first priority is always to be there for her children as well as for her husband. This is not a commandment from me, but from God himself. This is all consistent with God's word as we can see from the book of Proverbs quoted below in the reference section.
Of course, there are also those women who choose to be single or have not married yet. These same women can get involved in a job in their community. However, this all depends on their situation at home. For if they are needed to stay at home by their immediate family, (such as helping to take care of her siblings or any aging parents) she needs to forsake what she is doing and attended to her family first. However, if she gets married, her first priority would be toward her husband and any children that follows.
Now, for all you parents who are sending your daughters away from the protection and comfort of the home into college campuses and dorms. You might as well be throwing them into a shark tank and tell them: "sink or swim honey, and oh by the way, remember to watch out for the sharks." Isn't this true? For there are those out there which have other interests in mind for your daughters, and believe me, it's not for their good. For there are night clubs, parties and all sorts of guys they can hang out and get in trouble with. Is that really something you want for your daughters? I hope not, so why not keep them at home?
So please, don’t get caught up in this corrupt system that says you need a degree to make it in this life, because it's a demonic lie. The truth of the matter is, life has gone on just fine without a degree in the past, and this for both men and women. So, my advice to you parents; keep your daughters at home until theyʼre ready for marriage. They can always help out around the house and find extra work in the local businesses while theyʼre still single. It's all for their good.
Now having said all this, I realize that our current world system (at least here in America) has made it hard for a couple to make it financially with only one person working outside of the home. Unfortunately, we have brought this upon ourselves because of greed. A get rich and let’s retire early mentality can bring a nation to ruin.
So that being said: “who can find a virtuous woman? For her price is far above rubies. The heart of her husband doth safely trust in her, so that he shall have no need of spoil. She will do him good and not evil all the days of her life. She seeketh wool, and flax, and worketh willingly with her hands. She is like the merchants' ships; she bringeth her food from afar. She riseth also while it is yet night, and giveth meat to her household, and a portion to her maidens.
She considereth a field, and buyeth it: with the fruit of her hands she planteth a vineyard. She girdeth her loins with strength, and strengtheneth her arms. She perceiveth that her merchandise is good: her candle goeth not out by night. She layeth her hands to the spindle, and her hands hold the distaff. She stretcheth out her hand to the poor; yea, she reacheth forth her hands to the needy. She is not afraid of the snow for her household: for all her household [are] clothed with scarlet.
She maketh herself coverings of tapestry; her clothing is silk and purple. Her husband is known in the gates, when he sitteth among the elders of the land. She maketh fine linen, and selleth it; and delivereth girdles unto the merchant. Strength and honour are her clothing; and she shall rejoice in time to come. She openeth her mouth with wisdom; and in her tongue is the law of kindness. She looketh well to the ways of her household, and eateth not the bread of idleness.
Her children arise up, and call her blessed; her husband also, and he praiseth her. Many daughters have done virtuously, but thou excellest them all. Favour is deceitful, and beauty is vain: but a woman that feareth the LORD, she shall be praised. Give her of the fruit of her hands; and let her own works praise her in the gates.” (Proverbs 31:10-31)
Let the woman learn in silence with all subjection. But I suffer not a woman to teach, nor to usurp authority over the man, but to be in silence. For Adam was first formed, then Eve. And Adam was not deceived, but the woman being deceived was in the transgression. (1 Timothy 2:11-14)
It is very clear from both in the Old Testament as well as the New, that the leadership positions in the church are to be held only by men. For we must “Let the woman learn in silence with all subjection. But I suffer not a woman to teach, nor to usurp authority over the man, but to be in silence. For Adam was first formed, then Eve. And Adam was not deceived, but the woman being deceived was in the transgression.” (1 Timothy 2:11-14)
If we look at the Old Testament, we can see that all the priestly positions were never held by a woman. For we read: “And take thou unto thee Aaron thy brother ,and his sons with him, from among the children of Israel, that he may minister unto me in the priest's office, even Aaron, Nadab and Abihu, Eleazar and Ithamar, Aaron’s sons (Exodus 28:1) Likewise, if we look at the New Testament Church, we can see that all twelve of the apostles were held only by men whom Jesus chosen. So, if Jesus wanted to have women in leadership positions in the New Testament church, wouldn’t he at least have chosen one woman, perhaps maybe Mary Magdalen to be one of His apostles. But it is clear from Paulʼs letters that no woman should take on any form of leadership within the church assembly, not even among other women. For he said, “But I suffer not a woman to teach, nor to usurp authority over the man, but to be in silence. For Adam was first formed, then Eve. And Adam was not deceived, but the woman being deceived was in the transgression.” (1 Timothy 2:12-14) So, this now being the case, how much more can a woman be deceived in her fallen state, whether she is a Christian or not?
So, when it comes to teaching and leading an assembly of Christians, we must, “Let your women keep silence in the churches: for it is not permitted unto them to speak; but they are commanded to be under obedience, as also saith the law. And if they will learn anything, let them ask their husbands at home: for it is a shame for women to speak in the church.” (1 Corinthians 14:34-35). This is true also when it comes to a woman's group as well. For we see in God’s word that the only gathering of woman recorded was a prayer group that was held by a river (Acts 16:13). But as far as our manner of life goes, we are to make sure, “that the aged men be sober, grave, temperate, sound in faith, in charity, in patience. The aged women likewise, that they be in behaviour as becometh holiness, not false accusers, not given to much wine, teachers of good things; That they may teach the young women to be sober, to love their husbands, to love their children, To be discreet, chaste, keepers at home, good, obedient to their own husbands, that the word of God be not blasphemed.” (Titus 2:2-5) So, the women should be teaching and training little children to be respectful citizens and younger woman to be keepers of the home. Amen.
Now that being said, the scriptures do teach that women can take part within the church as prophets and as deacons. For first we read: "And it will be in the last days, says God, that I will pour out my Spirit on all people; then your sons and your daughters will prophesy, your young men will see visions, and your old men will dream dreams. (Acts 2:17) Then we read: “I commend unto you Phebe our sister, which is a servant of the church which is at Cenchrea: That ye receive her in the Lord, as becometh saints, and that ye assist her in whatsoever business she hath need of you: for she hath been a succourer of many, and of myself also.” (Romans 16:1-2) Now it must be understood that this word deacon does not mean a church leader or teacher but one who serves in the church, whether they are a man or a woman. We can see this to be true from Acts chapter 6 where Stephen was appointed as a deacon in the church to serve tables (see: Acts 6:3 and 1 Timothy 3:8-13).
Now, I know that some of you may be thinking about Deborah, who was “a prophetess, the wife of Lapidoth, she judged Israel at that time. And she dwelt under the palm tree of Deborah between Ramah and Bethel in mount Ephraim: and the children of Israel came up to her for judgment. (Judges 4:4-5) So, while it is true that she was holding these two positions, this still wouldn’t qualify her to be a priest or a religious teacher. Prophets speak as God gives them utterance and Judges administer justice. But that doesn't give them license to take on roles which were not assigned to them. “For every high priest taken from among men is ordained for men in things pertaining to God, that he may offer both gifts and sacrifices for sins: Who can have compassion on the ignorant, and on them that are out of the way; for that he himself also is compassed with infirmity.” (Hebrews 5:1-2)
And let’s remember that even King Saul, who was an anointed King in Israel, got into trouble for taking on the duties of a Priest. For “And Samuel said to Saul, Thou hast done foolishly: thou hast not kept the commandment of the LORD thy God, which he commanded thee: for now would the LORD have established thy kingdom upon Israel for ever. But now thy kingdom shall not continue: the LORD hath sought him a man after his own heart, and the LORD hath commanded him to be captain over his people, because thou hast not kept that which the LORD commanded thee. (1 Samuel 13:13-14) So, even though Saul was King of Israel, he still had no authority to take on the role of a priest, thus he was removed from being the King’
Wives, submit yourselves unto your own husbands, as unto the Lord. For the husband is the head of the wife, even as Christ is the head of the church: and he is the saviour of the body. Therefore as the church is subject unto Christ, so let the wives be to their own husbands in every thing. Husbands, love your wives, even as Christ also loved the church, and gave himself for it; (Ephesians 5:22-25)